Red eye? Yes, please.

I often hear people complain about traveling– “Oh, I had to take the red eye back from [insert place here]”.    I used to commiserate.   The red eye?  Oh yeah.  Can’t get comfortable, someone wakes you up every 15 minutes, the dude next to you is a loud sleeper–wait, that sounds really familiar– isn’t that like every night?  Now I just clarify.  “Did you say you had to take the red eye, or you got to take the red eye? ”

I love red eye flights.  I dream about them.  (Hear me out.)  So you’re telling me that I get to sit down in my own seat that I don’t have to share, someone brings me wine and coffee, and I can write–uninterrupted!– for several hours while the people around me are deliberately trying not to talk or make eye contact with me?  Glorious!  Sign. Me. Up. I’ll pay extra.

The limiting factor for me is battery life.  How long is that iPad battery going to last?  Luckily for me,  a really long time (thanks Apple)– at least as far as Eastern US to Eastern Europe.  I get my best writing done on the red eye.  There are no distractions and there is nothing else to do.  Nothing.

I just got my passport renewed and the guy at the passport photo shop who took my picture said,  “Ma’am…you ok with this picture? I can retake it.”  The look on his face said it all.  He obviously didn’t think I was at my best.  I took a gander.  Hair a mess, the bags under my bloodshot eyes quite noticeable, me doing my best not to smile (cause apparently happy people don’t get passports).  I’ve seen this look before— now where was it?

Ah yes! At passport control!  Come to think of it, this is EXACTLY how I look after a night of flying– no sleep, up all night frantically typing, a couple glasses of wine under my belt…yes, I’ve seen those bloodshot eyes before!  “No sir,” I say.  “This will do just fine.”  If I took a better picture, it would just confuse the customs official and buy me an express ticket to secondary.  In fact, I love this picture.  If I see this look on my face after getting off an overnight flight– it means I got a LOT of writing in.   It screams, “Success!”

I’ve found that usually the only long blocks of writing I can justify are  during experiences that everyone else finds awful.  Long waits at the doctor’s office, car repair shop, the DMV– I regularly volunteer for these duties.  But the red eye– that is the pinnacle of crappy assignments that I pine for.  It’s all about perspective.  I wasn’t going to get a good night’s sleep  in anyways… might as well make the most of it.