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The “List”… Motivator or Demoralizer?

On March 29, 2019 by

For someone who prefers to fly by the seat of her pants, I still harbor some tendencies of a plotter. I’m not sure where I picked up these habits or the feeling that they are something that I should embrace, but I do know that some of the most basic organizing hacks that help others to get and stay on track almost always are tools of demoralization and demotivation for me.

I love the concept of a list: write down the things you want to accomplish and then get instant gratification from crossing things off the list. At the end of the day, you have a page of check marks or cross-offs, or, if you really go for it, stickers, or color-coded checked boxes that all cry “Success! You did it! You rock!” Except… when I look at my list I see a page and a half of “to-dos” with no check marks, no cross offs, no fun color-coded successes, no progress. Day after day this gets demoralizing. What exactly did I do today? What did I do this week? Apparently nothing. And yet I sat here and did…something? I hope?

When combined with a desire to utilize time well and the pressure of having such little precious time to work on writing, projects, life—this actually becomes worse than demoralizing… it becomes demotivating. I don’t want to start lists because I don’t want to have to look at how much I didn’t do in a day, or a week, or a month. Since I am fresh off my deployment, I have the first block of significant leave of my adult life and I know I’m not going to get this again before retirement so I want to use each moment. So, I find myself writing lists to keep me on track.

Part of the problem, for me anyways, is that I write my list while drinking my coffee. I get this nice little rush of energy from that morning hug that is a cup of hot coffee, and I get a little ahead of myself. My list starts like this… (1) 2-hours of writing, (1) 1-hour of business development (sip, sip)…(3) 30-minute run. So far, so good. But then… (sip, sip)…cross that off, 1-hour run! (4) practice piano, (5) call the piano tuner (sip, scratch puppy’s head, look out the window and see my yard) (6) clean up leaves, (7) re-mulch (sip, stare at ceiling), (8) Bring kids to paint store to pick out new colors for their bedroom, (9) Paint the kids rooms, (10) clean the basement (sip, sip)… you see the issue. My daily list looks like someone’s yearly to-do list and I always neglect to account for every other thing that is going to change my plans—and sometimes for the better.

So, just for kicks, I tried something new this week. Instead of just writing down all the things to accomplish during the day, I write a few things down very sparingly. I set the bar low. And then, at the end of the day, I list all the other things I did on the other side of the page. And then I check those things off. And I feel a whole lot better about how I am using my time. Let’s take this week for example..

Wednesday’s list went something like this…

(1) 2-hours writing

(2) 1-hour business development

(3) 3-mile run

(4) piano

The only thing I accomplished from my list was a 3-mile run. Fail? Nope, because this is the list of what I actually did:

(1) 1-hour writing

(2) Surprise visit from bff!

(3) Novel accepted for professional review!

It was actually a really awesome day, even though my list tells a deceivingly different story. Thursday was even better. The first list went like this:

(1) Work with painters as they fix water leak damage

(2) 1-hour writing

(3) Pick kids up early

But then this happened…

(1) Work with painters as they fix water leak damage

(2) Call from a friend who needed advice

(3) Weather is nice… screw the list…last-minute discounted tickets to Opening Day with the big kids!

(4) Get locked out of the house by painters, pick a lock, don’t have time for planned dinner… special pancake dinner and extra time to play outside!

I’m actually excited to see what happens today and I don’t feel nearly as badly about my week as I would have if I didn’t take the extra few seconds to jot down what I actually accomplished. It’s a trick I am going to use in the future—particularly with my writing projects— to help capture the moments of life that are happening that aren’t captured on my to-do lists. Those few seconds to capture the day can help us to understand reasonable expectations for progress and remind us that our days are more than to-do lists and check marks. Sometimes life interrupts, and that’s a good thing.

Until next time, keep scribbling!